Happy birthday, Mama. I miss you so much I could die. How are you, Mom? It must be nice up there, right? God is so lucky to have you by his side. God loves you so much that He won't let you make another mistakes on earth.
Wish you were here, Mom. Wish you were beside me during my "first times". First love, first period, first graduation party, first moment of nervousness when I was waiting to be accepted in one of the best high school in town, first day of high school (people said high school is the best time of your life, well, indeed), first 'serious' boyfriend, first date, first 'real' heartbreak, first day I was fighting to be accepted in national university. And I did it, I was accepted in two national universities, UNDIP and UI. You're proud of me, aren't you? Please say that you are. You see me from up there. See my struggle just to make you and papa proud. First day of college, and many more "firsts". I wish I could tell you everytime I did my "firsts". I did those things all alone, I wish you could give me some advices, but you're not here. And I have to figure it all myself.
You don't know how much I really wish you were here. Especially on a day like this. On your birthday. You're supposed to be 44 years old today. That means 5 times of wishing 'happy birthday' has gone. I WISH I could give you, no, I WANT to give you cake, gift, and surprise. On mother's day, I want to give you flowers and lot of kisses just like my friends did. But you're not here. You're so far away from here. Too far that I can possibly know where you are. Even your 'body' burried a thousand miles away from where I stand right now.
But it's okay, Mom. That makes me grow up, makes me stronger and makes me who I am today. I'm happy now, Mom. I love myself, I have a lot of friends that love me just the way I am. I'm doing really good, right?
Wish you were here, Mom. Wish you were beside me during my "first times". First love, first period, first graduation party, first moment of nervousness when I was waiting to be accepted in one of the best high school in town, first day of high school (people said high school is the best time of your life, well, indeed), first 'serious' boyfriend, first date, first 'real' heartbreak, first day I was fighting to be accepted in national university. And I did it, I was accepted in two national universities, UNDIP and UI. You're proud of me, aren't you? Please say that you are. You see me from up there. See my struggle just to make you and papa proud. First day of college, and many more "firsts". I wish I could tell you everytime I did my "firsts". I did those things all alone, I wish you could give me some advices, but you're not here. And I have to figure it all myself.
"I'm tryin' to make you proud, do everything you did. I hope you're up there with God, saying, 'That's my kid!"
- If You Could See Me Now by The Script-
That was all of my thoughts. Whatever I say, whereever you are, just know that I love you so damn much. More than I love myself. You're the only thing that makes still want to try. Try to fight, try to love, try to give my best, and try to live my life. I love you, Mother. Always have, always will.- If You Could See Me Now by The Script-
Ciao, guys!
